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Teaching Children about Joining Play or Conversation
Social initiation is the act of beginning a social interaction with another person. To make new friends, young children must learn how to appropriately join in the activities of others.
It can be difficult for young children to start social interactions if they're worried about what might happen. Some children make assumptions such as "she won't want to play with me" or "he's probably going to say no." Initiating interaction can be even harder for children who are teased often or have few friends.
For these reasons, it's important to help children develop good initiation skills so they can successfully interact with peers and form positive friendships. Here are some tips to help build children's social initiation skills:
Teach
Teach children about necessary behaviors for successfully joining into play or conversation with others, such as:
- Introducing yourself: To introduce themselves to another child, they should stand in front of the other person (but not too close), look at him or her, and use a regular talking voice.
- Patience: Rather than jumping into an interaction immediately, they might have to wait for a break in the ongoing play or conversation.
- Pleasantness: They need to approach other children with a smile and positive attitude.
Practice
Role-play various initiation scenarios with children, having them work on introducing themselves appropriately using the guidelines above. Have them practice different types of initiation, such as starting or joining a conversation, initiating or joining into play, and beginning to work together on a shared project.
Provide Feedback
Observe children's social interactions and praise their efforts. Point out and reinforce actions or words that were successful. Have children talk to you about what worked or didn't work.
Provide Opportunities for Success
If a child has trouble making friends, is teased often, or is rejected or ignored by peers, it's important to provide access to settings in which the child is most likely to be successful in social interactions. Provide opportunities to initiate with peers with similar interests, such as a camp or afterschool activity focused on a shared hobby.
Download these tips in pdf form.
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As children enter preschool and begin to navigate social situations outside the home, problem behaviors and related social difficulties may become apparent. Without intervention, these social and behavioral problems tend to persist and even escalate over time, leading to longer-term social problems.